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What is Co-dependency?
Co-dependency is real. It is debilitating and can rule someone’s life. Co-dependency occurs when we place others' needs before our own, believing our lives will be more manageable by attempting to control or overly depend on others.
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As co-dependents, we believe if we tell others what to do, how to do it, when to do it, what to think, it takes the focus off our own lives our responsibility for our own health and well-being.
As families, often we are caught in a cycle of co-dependency with the addict. We believe if we can control the addict's decisions, behaviors and beliefs, our lives and the lives of our family members will be more manageable.
From the addict's perspective, co-dependency works to maintain the addiction. Often, the addict works at manipulating everyone in order to get his or her needs met. And because the family is often co-dependent, the manipulation works. In addition, addicts may set their expectations for others too high and use the disappointment as an excuse to continue abusing.
How Whole Families Can Help You
In the intervention, we will discuss signs of co-dependency in both the family and addict. We'll begin to create many solutions. If you're unclear about co-dependency, here are a few indicators. It's helpful to ask yourself if you experience any of these:
low self-esteem
controlling behavior
unclear boundaries
perfectionism
ongoing shame or guilt
in a relationship with an addict
responsible for other people's feelings
Recovering from co-dependency takes baby steps. We will teach you and your loved one how to set clear boundaries and expectations, and embrace self-care with nutrition, exercise, and mindfulness practices, such as meditation.
Shifts will begin to take place as we walk alongside all of you down this new path. You will have the courage and tools to break through unhealthy learned behaviors and reactions. You will begin to develop a strong sense of self, build healthy personal boundaries and cease tending to everyone else's needs in place of your own.
When we begin to take care of ourselves, we are more healthy whole so that we can be present to others.
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